Shafilea’s life in her own words

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Shafilea’s moving poem says it all.  How many young men and women will be able to resonate with Shafilea’s despair?  Rest in peace Shafilea.

‘Happy Families’ by Shafilea Ahmed

I don’t pretend like we’re the perfect family no more
Desire to live is burning
My stomach is turning
But all they think about is honour
I was like a normal teenage kid
Didn’t ask 2 much
I jus wanted to fit in
But my culture was different
Now I’m sitting here
Playing happy families
Still crying tears
But no we’re a happy family
I have these fears
I wish, I wish, I wish
For a happy family——- oh yeah
I lay in bed hoping the next day would be better
It was just a thought
Because it never happened no
But still I dream of this today yeah hey
I wish my parents would be proud of wot I done
Instead it’s you’ve have bought shame
Or something else lame
I don’t wanna hear this no more
No no no.
I feel trapped

I feel trapped, so stuck I don’t wot 2 do the feeling is mutual, I don’t know how to explain
Im a trapped so trapped (so trapped )
Now u know where I stand, when I fall back I got no where else to land
I don’t know how to say
I’m trapped so trapped I’m trapped wit u.
It was my last year in school, so happy with my friends I got lots to do—-
But came this day when everything changed
I came home it seemed like a normal day
But sumthing wasn’t right——
I wish I coulda changed the event
I shoulda killed myself instead
I’d rather have been dead
Coz now I have a burden on my chest
And no it won’t go away, the guilt, the pain
When I look back on things I coulda changed coulda stop, prevented, exchanged
But i had to turn out this way (so trapped)
Now I’m sitting on my window bay
Looking at the rain——
Drowning sorrow and pain
Will this ever go away——
I feel trapped so trapped, I’m trapped
I’m trapped, so trapped I’m trapped
(I don’t know wot do) I feel trapped.
But my family ignored.”

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